Anytime you find joy in things, that joy is in you. When you find joy in a connection with another person, that joy is in you. As you coordinate fun things to do and people to be with, you are creating circumstances for you to find your joyful mindspace. The joy is always in you.
When you think of joy as being in things, you will always look to things and circumstances to bring you joy. When those things or circumstances are not present or if you are stuck doing something that you consider joyless, you will find misery and tedium as you do them. When you believe that whether you feel joy or not is based in your response to things, you can look to yourself to find joy in many more situation. When you are not enjoying what you are doing, don’t blame the activity, but look into your reaction. When you do that, and challenge your habitual responses, the narrow path of joyful things becomes much wider.
As you do things you enjoy, notice the wide variety of ways you find joy in yourself. As you practice finding joy in yourself, you need less elaborate things to evoke that joyful response. You can enjoy taking a shower or washing dishes. Washing dishes is generally not a joyful kind of thing, but you can feel joy in doing it if you are not consumed with finding misery in the task.
There will always be circumstances that bring you joy or bring you down, but when you look to your own response as the source of the feeling, you can deal with any circumstance. You won’t always be joyous, but when you do it regularly it gets easier. Conversely, if you often practice finding misery in things and circumstances that will be your stronger habit. Life isn’t all full of joy. You instill your joy into it. You enjoy life.