The best way to get over the past is to focus intensely on the present. If your mind is suffering from events from the past, throw out your mind. To throw out your mind, drop all of your opinions, judgements and beliefs and just experience what is right before you. Take a full breath in, fill your lungs as full as they can go, hold in your breath for a few seconds, then, slowly, let it all out. Do that three times. Now, you are in the present. There is no past, no future. In this moment, you are absolutely perfect as you are. Spend a few moments without your mind. If thoughts come to you, breathe them out. Don’t listen to them, don’t dismiss them, just breathe them out. Breathe in again.
Mindfully breathing, noticing your thoughts, noticing smells, noticing sights, noticing immediate feelings, you can deal with what is right in front of you. If what comes to you next is regret or hurt from the past, you can handle that. See what the thoughts are, see what the feelings are. Don’t categorize them as good or bad, just see them again and let them go again. You are still perfect. Perfectly still.
If this sounds like meditating, it is. That is the state of mind when you are in the present. The three deep breaths act like an emergency release. They bring you to the present quickly and emphatically. For the rest of your life you can use that when you need to, but usually you can come back to the present by noticing feelings, emotions, moods, or physical sensations. When you notice these sensations, you can breathe out your next thought and become perfect again, done with your past and safe from your future.
If you practice this consistently, you can revisit your past safely and confidently if you need to. It won’t haunt you the way it once did. It’s just not you anymore.