Love and Anger

We often get angry at the people we love. Even though we love them, they do things that just tee us off.  Some things that make us angry, wouldn’t make us angry at all, except that we love the person so much. Sometimes people get angry at us only because they love us. Anger though, is not a good expression of love. It can be very confusing. If you love somebody, you should see how you express your anger toward them. When somebody loves you, you should notice how they express their anger toward you. See how the anger fits with the love. See how often anger arises. See how quickly it goes. Love does not prevent anger, nor does it excuse hurtful expressions of anger.

Anger can be habit forming and it can get in the way of love. Love can help you work with your anger or with the anger of people that you love. Love can give you the courage to look at the anger and see the suffering that it causes. If you are angry, you are suffering. When you are angry and suffering, the people who love you can help you handle your suffering. Remembering this can help you address your own anger. It can help you treat those you love with kindness, even when you’re angry.

When someone you love is angry, it helps to look for the love beyond the anger. When you look to the love, you are able to see that the person is suffering in their anger. When you notice the suffering of a person who you love, you naturally feel compassion. That compassion will help you find ways to ease the suffering caused by anger.

When you get good at practicing working with anger with people you love, then you can practice with people you don’t like so much. Too much anger is madness. Too much love is not possible.

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