We spend so much of our time worrying about what is in somebody else’s mind, but the real trick is reading our own minds. Other people will think what they will. We generally want them to like us. We may want them to love us, but regardless of how somebody else feels about us, how we feel about ourselves is what makes the difference. We may base how we feel about ourselves on how somebody else feels about us. That is totally normal. That is why it is normal to be totally crazy.
In order to combat total craziness, we need to take responsibility for our own feelings. If we decide we love somebody and then base our self worth on how they love us back, we are seriously entertaining the idea that we may not be worthy of love. We have decided that this other person is so wise, and their love is so valuable, that if they can’t figure out just how to love us, then we are lacking that essential lovable quality. That’s crazy.
We are completely lovable regardless of who notices it. Our self worth has nothing to do with who can see it. If we start to think that we are unlovable because of what we imagine is happening in somebody else’s head, then our imagination is getting the better of us. If that happens, we’re better off spending our time trying to read our own minds.
Crazy comes and goes. When we notice that we are entertaining thoughts that call into question our self worth, then we are entertaining craziness. If we think other people are better at judging our lovability than we are, then we are entertaining craziness. It’s perfectly okay to entertain craziness, that’s normal crazy. When we are able to see our craziness as it happens, we return to sanity. We know our self worth is immeasurable whether we, or anybody else, can see it.
When we find ourselves stuck worrying about what is happening in other people’s minds, we can return to our own minds and remind ourselves that everything is fine. We are lovely, we are lovable, we are worthy. When we know that, other people, if they are at all aware, will notice it too.