Sex, Drugs, and Expectations

Expectations taint your experience.  If you are going to a movie and you think it’s going to be great, but it is only good, you’ll think it sucked. It didn’t live up to your expectations. You missed a good movie.

Expectations can turn into habits. You come to expect a certain amount of pleasure from a certain activity.  That’s why bad sex is so demoralizing.  You expect some love laced, passion filled, intimacy, and instead, you get screwed.

Expectations are how addictions get going. You smoke a joint, and/or knock back a few drinks, and you have fun. After a while, It becomes hard to have fun without the fun key. You end up smoking more and more and drinking more and more and instead of the pleasant little buzz, you get wrecked. Even that feels fun, for a while.

Your expectation is for fun and you don’t notice when the fun is not really fun. You may well be having fun hanging out with friends, flirting, dancing and listening to music.  All that is fun, but the chemical stimulants get the credit. This doesn’t only happen with sex and drugs.  It can happen with anything. Any pleasure taken too far will turn into pain. The pleasure may last for years before it becomes painful.

This is why it’s important to be true to yourself. Be honest with yourself about how you are feeling. If something is not fun, it’s not fun, no need to pretend. Something that was fun yesterday, may not be fun today.  Tell a joke twice, its funny once.

Check your expectations against your actual experience and you will know when you grow and change. Fun will persist, but you’ll be less likely to fall into a rut,  doing something that was once was fun, because it’s supposed to be fun.  The sooner you catch on, the less time you’ll spend digging ditches to doldrums.


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