When you struggle for happiness, there is comfort in validation. In order to move from a miserable point in life to a more tolerable place, it helps when others recognize that you are indeed in a miserable place. It is little consolation to know that the world is an amazing place, with flowers, sunshine, hermit crabs and wildebeest, when your little corner of existence feels like a dank cell. Who cares if the splendors of Paris are above you, if you are stuck down in the sewers? Yet when somebody notices just where you are, your sojourn through the sewers becomes slightly less of a slog.

Validation is like the rope that lets you climb out of the pit. You are suffering, your reasons for suffering are completely understandable, you deserve to feel happiness. Although you may not be in a place where you can climb the rope, you could tie it around your waist and know that there is a way to freedom.

The rescue rope of validation meets you where you are and shows the way up with the hope of pulling the floor out from under you. Although your suffering is real, and reasons are reasonable, the hopelessness you feel is a matter of mind. Although the cell and the sewer are real, and you perceive them acutely, you are not really in them.  If that rope of hope, with the hook of validation found you, and you believe in the possibility, that there is a way to be happy with who you are, what you are, where you are right now, then you are there. When the floor is pulled from under you, the sky opens up. You can handle your suffering because you are an amazing creature with consciousness. You can move mountains with your mind.


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