The law of attraction is that when you wish for something you get it. That is true for everything that we have, and less true for what what we don’t have or have and don’t want. The law of attraction works very well at a Starbucks. If we have money, we can wish for any hot beverage we can imagine and something like it will materialize.
With love, we follow our own attraction. When we notice we are attracted to somebody, then we love them a little. Our soul may not resonate with theirs, but our heartbeats are each between 60 and 120 beats per minute, our body temperatures are each around 98 degrees Fahrenheit, and we each occupy a proximal space at the same time. On top of that, we feel a sense of attraction to them.
We can approach those we are attracted to with awareness of our attraction and curiosity about who this other person is. If they feel a similar attraction and look into our eyes, our heartbeats will speed up, our bodies will raise their temperatures, emit pheromones, and produce oxytocin, the love neurotransmitter, like they did when our mothers held each of us as babies.
People naturally love each other, but there is a lot involved in developing trust and understanding with another person. Attraction compels us to interact and make the effort to get to know each other.
The more we get to know another person, the more of ourselves we expose. Sometimes there are parts of us we are afraid to expose. Sometimes people judge and don’t like what they see. Sometimes we judge and don’t like what we see. These things keep coming up as we explore layers of intimacy. Ultimately, we each have to face ourselves as we engage with other people.
There are few better ways of getting to know ourselves than looking from another’s point of view. It helps if that other point of view is generous, amorous, and compassionate. It helps if we are that way too as we learn to know ourselves and make the effort to know and love others.
People in power have been abusive forever. That is the nature of power. Some people are consciously and aggressively abusive, others are completely ignorant and oblivious to how and who they abuse. In Canada, child abuse was “discovered” in the late 1800’s and Humane Societies were formed to protect children and pets. Child abuse existed since the first child was born. Early humanoids snapped at their children like dogs. Through the course of evolution, babies adapted to resemble their fathers to help prevent those fathers from eating them. 100,000 years later, the keen observers of human nature in Upper Canada, recognized that the way some people treated children was wrong and harmful. The Canadians were not the first in history of the world to notice child abuse, but they discovered it early in their history.
The people who formed those Humane Societies were generally white and wealthy women. Although women were systematically oppressed in the social structures of the time, they wielded great power over the poor, downtrodden and non-white among them. The humane societies and religious leaders of the time, doing the good work celebrated in their social circles, decimated the Native populations, forcibly removing children from their families and placing them in residential schools where they were routinely physically and sexually abused. Canada has recently apologized to the Aboriginal people there for those atrocities.
In recent months, in the powerful United States or America, brave women have shared their experiences, facing shame and escalated abuse to help the world discover that they have been being abused by powerful men for a long time. NFL football players, powerful men in their arenas, are kneeling during the American national anthem to help us discover that African Americans have been facing abuse for a long time too. We are all powerful people in this world. Where we face greater powers we are abused. Where we face lesser powers, we abuse. With awareness of the power structures around us and an understanding that where there is power there will be abuse, we can employ compassionate action to try not to abuse people and to find support for ourselves and others when we discover the powerfully destructive presence of abuse.