If you think you might be depressed, you probably are. Too bad. Being depressed stinks. Being sad is part of life, it comes and goes in its time. Being depressed doesn’t make as much sense, it just lingers. There’s no sense in ignoring your mood, it will be there regardless of what you do. If you are feeling depressed and looking for hope, I’m sorry for this bit of news, you’re not going to get better.
You will not get better, because you are perfect as you are. You will get happier, that’s certain. When you are feeling depressed, getting happier is bound to happen because sadder is not really available. The good news for you is that you are already addressing your depression. If you’ve read this far, you are actively working with your mood. If you’re looking to Buddha to help you deal with your mind, that’s an excellent approach. He and his followers know a bit about how to transform suffering.
Depression is a good, but nasty teacher. Meditation is really hard when you are feeling terrible, but so is everything else. If you can get yourself to focus on the pain of your depression, and not just will it away through activities, you can understand the feeling. That feeling is not you. You are perfect. I hope you feel better.