We all have a good idea about how things are. That is how they are for us. We also know how things should be. We have all been there. The difference between how things are and how they should be is what distresses us. To relieve that stress we have to connect with how things are.
Thinking about how things should be is upsetting. Thinking about how things could be is more productive. How things should be is how they are not. How things could be grows out of how things are. To get from how things are to how they could be, you have to be aware of how things are and imagine how things could be. Sometimes we do this by accident. We imagine all the bad things that will happen and how things will get worse. That kind of thinking is the product of a poor mood and unfocused attention. Those thoughts are worries. Thinking actively about how things could progress toward a more fulfilling life will help you to see some positive potential. That potential exists in how things are.
How things are has the potential to be more tolerable, or even wonderful, if you focus on your experience rather than your circumstances. Our circumstances and our moods are so closely related that it is difficult to tell which causes which. If we work on changing our circumstances, our mood will change. If we work on changing our mood, our circumstances will change. If we work on experiencing the constant change we will learn to rejoice in how things are.